Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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