Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
