its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
