If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize