come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
