ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize