I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
