he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
