So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
