I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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