I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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