i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
