Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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