I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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