Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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