im drinking this country out of the recession.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
