i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
