the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
