PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
