btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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