I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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