I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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