Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
