I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
