goodnight i made you a song goodbye
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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