I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize