i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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