How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
