If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize