if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
