Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Someone shattered a urinal.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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