that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cannot find my penis.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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