i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
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