i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
