did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
