question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
