Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
someone owes me an orgasm
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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