you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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