he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
