I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize