Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
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