Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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