you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
