a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
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