Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
