If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize