Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
