Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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