Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
