There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
