didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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