Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
