why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
