you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
