did you get engaged???
Duck Duck Cougar?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
