He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
