I can feel you judging me through the phone.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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