yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
