Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize