you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
