his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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